A Tapestry of Gratitude: The People Who Shaped My Life

As I reflect on the course of my life, I am struck by the profound impact that certain individuals have had on me. Their presence, their kindness, and their belief in me have been like guiding stars, illuminating a path that might otherwise have been shrouded in darkness. My journey has been marked by challenges, but it has also been defined by the extraordinary people who stepped into my life at just the right moments, offering support, encouragement, and a sense of belonging that I often lacked. This is my tribute to them—a heartfelt acknowledgment of the roles they played in shaping who I am today.

My story begins with a childhood that was far from easy. I was a compromised kid, struggling with failure to thrive at ages two and three, which led to a three-month stay in a convalescent home. Clubfeet added another layer of difficulty, requiring casts, braces, hand treatments, and two surgeries before the age of nine. Countless hospitalizations followed, often without the comfort of family visits. Those early years were lonely and challenging, but they were also marked by moments of kindness that left an indelible impression on me.

I owe an immense debt of gratitude to the nurses and staff at Children’s Hospital in Iowa City. Though I don’t remember their names, I will never forget their warmth and care. They provided the nurturance I so desperately needed—a kind of emotional sustenance that I didn’t receive at home. My mother, burdened by the demands of raising six children and navigating life with an alcoholic husband, was unable to give me the emotional support I craved. She herself was an only child, perhaps ill-equipped to provide the kind of nurturing that a child like me needed. The nurses at Children’s Hospital filled that void, offering comfort and compassion during my many stays. They made me feel seen and cared for in a way that I hadn’t experienced before.

Among the medical professionals who changed my life, Dr. Ponsetti stands out as a towering figure. A renowned orthopedic surgeon, he performed surgery on my clubfeet in 1951, using innovative techniques that would go on to revolutionize the treatment of this condition worldwide. His skill and dedication not only improved my physical health but also gave me a chance at a more normal life. I will always be grateful for his expertise and the difference he made in my life.

As I grew older, I continued to face challenges. I was a lonely, sickly child, the youngest of six, often overprotected and spoiled but rarely taken seriously. It wasn’t until ninth grade that I encountered someone outside my family who truly saw me for who I was. Miss Beck, my speech teacher at J.B. Young Junior High School in Davenport, Iowa, cast me as the lead in the school play, *Wildcat Willy Swears Off Swearing*. This was a pivotal moment for me. For the first time, I felt a sense of accomplishment and recognition. Miss Beck’s belief in me awakened something deep within—a glimmer of confidence and self-worth that had been missing. She showed me the difference between being pampered and being truly seen, and that distinction has stayed with me ever since.

In high school, another teacher left a lasting impression. Mr. Ross, my speech coach, saw potential in me that I hadn’t yet recognized in myself. He encouraged me to participate in competitive speech tournaments, an experience that pushed me out of my comfort zone and helped me develop skills I didn’t know I had. Like Miss Beck, Mr. Ross made me feel seen and valued, and his influence played a crucial role in my growing sense of self.

During those same years, I found unexpected camaraderie and support through wrestling. Mr. Ryder, the wrestling coach at my high school, was a kind and encouraging presence in my life. Despite my small stature—I weighed only 65 pounds in seventh grade—he took me seriously and didn’t coddle me. Wrestling was a tough sport, and I was far from athletic, but Mr. Ryder’s belief in me gave me the courage to try. Though I broke my collarbone in tenth grade and never returned to the sport, his kindness and mentorship left a lasting impact.

Another pivotal figure during my high school years was Bill Naugle, the first true friend I ever had. Bill was semi-popular, athletic, and kind-hearted, and his friendship opened doors for me. He introduced me to a wider social circle and helped me feel like I belonged. For the first time, I experienced the joy of genuine friendship. Though our paths eventually diverged—Bill married and moved on—his influence during those formative years was immeasurable.

Through Bill, I met Charlie Lear, another person who played a significant role in my life. Charlie was intellectually gifted and went on to earn a PhD in chemistry. His friendship and affirmation helped me begin to see myself in a new light. Struggling with undiagnosed ADHD, I had always felt academically inadequate, but Charlie’s belief in me gave me a much-needed boost of confidence. He was a steady presence during a time when I was still figuring out who I was and what I could become.

During this same period, I found another source of stability and growth in my life: Eagle Supermarket. I worked there from my junior year in high school to my junior year in college, and it became like a second family to me. I started as a stockboy and carryout boy, eventually moving to the produce department. Supermarkets back then were smaller, closed at 9 p.m. every night, and weren’t open on Sundays. Girls typically ran the cash registers, while boys stocked shelves or carried out groceries. I began at 75 cents an hour and, by the time I left years later, was earning about $1.54. There was even a labor union that represented us, which was an interesting introduction to the world of organized labor.

Eagle Supermarket was more than just a job—it was a community. Pete Peterson, the manager, was incredibly kind and generous with me. On several occasions, he could have easily fired me, but instead, he chose to mentor and support me. His patience and belief in me meant the world, especially during those formative years. The store itself was a closely knit environment, with Christmas parties and other gatherings that brought everyone together. These events fostered a sense of belonging and camaraderie that I deeply cherished.

Working at Eagle also taught me invaluable skills. As a high school student, I learned how to interact with people—both customers and colleagues—in a professional yet personal way. It was my first real exposure to the dynamics of teamwork, responsibility, and the importance of showing up consistently. These lessons stayed with me long after I left the store, shaping how I approached relationships and work in the years to come.

After leaving Eagle, I went to work for Bremmer Manufacturing Company, which built kitchen cabinets and was nationally known. This was a whole new level of working—around adults in a labor-intensive setting, with supervisors and people of various ages with whom I had little in common. But I was treated well, and the experience taught me resilience and adaptability. I remember standing by the glue press, a huge piece of equipment, on a Friday afternoon when the news of John F. Kennedy’s assassination came over the radio. It was November 22, 1963, and the temperature in the factory felt like 130 degrees. That moment marked the beginning of a powerfully emotional weekend, though at the time, I had little true understanding of what it all meant.

I do remember, however, that it was the only time I ever saw my father cry. When the news that night showed them struggling to get Kennedy’s coffin out of Air Force One and upright, my dad just lost it. His tears were a rare and raw display of emotion, one that left a lasting impression on me. It was a moment that underscored the gravity of the event and the shared grief that gripped the nation.

Later, during my time at the University of Iowa, I met Yeng Son Kong, a South Korean PhD student who became a mentor and friend. Kong was in his thirties, and I was just nineteen, but he treated me with a rare combination of kindness and firmness. He didn’t baby me or let me off the hook when I needed correction, but I always knew he cared deeply. His guidance helped me navigate the challenges of young adulthood with greater maturity and self-awareness.

During this same period, I began dating Pam Martin, my first serious girlfriend. Our relationship was meaningful, but my own insecurities and selfishness ultimately led to its demise. Breaking off our engagement was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done, but it also set the stage for me to meet my wife, Pat, two years later. Pat has been my rock, my partner, and my greatest source of love and support. Her role in my life deserves its own chapter, one that I will return to in due time.

After college, I found myself adrift, unsure of what to do next. I took a job at a bank, where I met an attorney in the trust department who became another important mentor. We worked together, shared lunches, and even participated in Junior Chamber of Commerce activities. Like so many others before him, he saw something in me that I couldn’t yet see in myself. His friendship and guidance helped me navigate the uncertainties of early adulthood.

Looking back, I am struck by how many people have stepped into my life at just the right moments, offering the support and encouragement I needed to keep moving forward. These relationships have been a lifeline, helping me overcome the challenges of my early years and shaping me into the person I am today. As I continue to reflect on my journey, I am filled with gratitude for the countless individuals who have made a difference in my life. Their kindness, belief, and unwavering support have been the threads that have woven the tapestry of my life—a tapestry that is still being created, one day at a time.

This is only the beginning of my story, and there are many more people to acknowledge and thank. But for now, I want to pause and honor those who have already played such pivotal roles. Their impact on my life is immeasurable, and I am forever grateful.